


Jack Versus the Internet

by the_one_that_fell



Series: Blue-Eyed Jack 'Verse [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bandom - Freeform, Ficlet, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 14:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11969409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_one_that_fell/pseuds/the_one_that_fell
Summary: When Bitty & the Biscuits came out with their new single, Jack was one of the first to know.





	Jack Versus the Internet

When Bitty & the Biscuits came out with their new single, Jack was one of the first to know.

He wasn’t  _obsessed_  with the band, per se, just…enthusiastic. Jack loved country and folk music, grew up listening to his mom’s Johnny Cash and Emmylou Harris albums. His first concert had been Charlie Daniels. His first crush had been Natalie Maines. And a year ago, when he’d stumbled across this little band with a Canadian guitarist and a ridiculously cute lead singer who was  _openly gay_ –well, Jack had been sold on the spot.

(It didn’t help that one of their songs,  _Goon_ , was about  _hockey_. Jack would never admit out loud that it had made a fanboy out of him.)

Though he was certain Eric Bittle couldn’t have actually written a song about  _him_ , Jack listened to  _Blue-Eyed Jack_  on repeat for hours the day it dropped. Surely he’d already been thinking about writing this song the day he met Jack; surely Jack wasn’t his favorite singer’s muse.

The internet went crazy with speculation in the weeks that followed. An astounding number of people thought it was written about Jack Mueller, an “Instagram Influencer” with whom Bittle had interacted with on several occasions. Jack had been forced to google Mueller’s profession, and had gotten confused and frustration almost immediately. Surely Bittle hadn’t written the song about someone as vain and boring as a man who took pictures of his salads every day.

This was when Jack had discovered what the kids referred to as “bandom.” It had been very late at night and he’d been almost too tired to even process what he was seeing, but Jack had somehow stumbled onto a blog completely dedicated to Bittle and his band. This blog–and several like it–claimed that  _Blue-Eyed Jack_ was  _clearly_  a red herring to keep the fans in the dark about the secret relationship between Bittle and his guitarist, Justin Oluransi.

Jack frowned when he read this over and over again. Surely they would’ve come forward publicly if they were really dating. Surely Bittle wouldn’t be singing a song about another man if he was in a relationship.

Surely he wouldn’t have called Jack handsome if he had a boyfriend.

But these blogs claimed otherwise. They carefully compiled photos from Oluransi’s Instagram, ones where Oluransi was hugging Bittle or had his arm around Bittle’s shoulder. One particularly memorable one–that had been edited a hundred different ways and often features cheesily edited flower crowns–showed Oluransi sprawled across a couch lengthwise, Bittle asleep on top of him. The comments on the picture raved about how low on Bittle’s back Oluransi’s hand rested and how Bittle was smiling in his sleep.  _How can they even pretend they’re not dating when they post pics like this???_ One blogger wrote, followed by several emojis.

Jack didn’t like that picture.

The blog also featured animated gifs from various concerts, over-analyzed song lyrics, even excerpts from interviews, all brought together in this odd quest to prove Bittle and Oluransi were in love. Jack might’ve found it fascinating if he didn’t feel so jealous.

 _Maybe it’s just, like, a song y'all,_ one post said, catching Jack’s eye.  _People write songs about fake people all the time, it doesn’t have to mean anything._

Jack frowned and closed his laptop, eyes burning with fatigue. Maybe he’d been overreacting, thinking that Bittle had written a song about him. His name had simply triggered some inspiration in a talented musician, that was all.

Sleep came to him eventually, but his dreams were muddled and discontented.

* * *

 

When Holster found one of these so-called “Ritty” blogs on Jack’s laptop a few days later, he couldn’t stop laughing.

Jack hated him a little bit.

“Dude, you’ve got it bad,” he said, wiping at his eyes. “This is great. I haven’t seen one of these bad boys since the Parse/Zimms fanfiction days. Your crush on Bitty is fucking adorable.”

“Shut up,” Jack muttered. “I don’t have a crush. He’s the lead singer of my favorite bad, that’s all-”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Holster flopped back on the couch, rolling his eyes. “Look, Bitty’s great and all, yay gay people in country and whatever, but Justin Oluransi is the best singer in the industry and he’s getting  _shafted_  as the Biscuits’ guitarist when he should  _totes_  have his own gig.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like I’m not the only one with a crush.”

“Ha!” Holster jumped up, pointing an accusatory finger in Jack’s face. “So you  _do_ have a crush! Jack ‘Married to Hockey’ Zimmermann has a  _crush_!”

Jack locked Holster out of the apartment until Shitty and Nursey showed up, Chinese take-out in tow.

* * *

 

 

> _Justin Oluransi @canadianbiscuit_
> 
> _Apparently @omgittybitty wrote Blue-Eyed Jack about @jlzimmermann1 and didn’t realize it???? EVERYONE SHAME BITTY W ME #shame_

 

Jack rarely checked his Twitter, but when he saw this notification, he nearly passed out.

With shaky hands, he passed the phone to Holster, who actually shrieked in response.

 

* * *

 

The chirps were worth the knowledge that Eric Bittle had, in fact, written a song about him.

Jack didn’t even bother going back to those “Ritty” blogs, feeling too smug to read conspiracy theories on how that tweet was all a ruse. Jack knew the truth and it was magnificent.

Now he just had to meet Bittle again. To…properly thank him for the song.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on [tumblr.](http://alphacrone.tumblr.com/post/164794984012/jack-discovers-bandom-and-sort-of-regrets-it)
> 
> My [tumblr tag](http://alphacrone.tumblr.com/tagged/omgcp-country-singer-au) dedicated to this AU.
> 
> If you like my writing, please check out my online novel [here](http://thediscourtknife.com/) and/or follow it on [tumblr.](http://thediscourtknife.tumblr.com/)


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